Not For The Faint Of Heart

It's been a wild week, that's for sure! Monday was fairly calm, a lazy day due to below normal temperatures outside and snow showers.

Tuesday, topped the chart for the scariest day of my "mommy" life. I was in the living room with Twinkletoes and she was explaining to me how she was going to teach, Tag, the dog, how to play hopscotch. I laughed and told her I had to go potty, but would be right back.

No sooner did I get to the bathroom I heard a VERY LOUD THUMP, a quick scream from Twinkletoes, and then an eerie quiet. When "T" gets hurt, she usually screams forEVER and makes every little injury a dramatic event. And due to the fact that she is about as coordinated on her feet as Bella is in the "Twilight" series, I'm used to her always being bruised or bandaged. The quiet following that scream indicated to me that this was NOT her usual fall.

I took off running to find her. She was laying on the kitchen floor completely still, face down. I pulled her hair out of her face to see what she was doing, hoping beyond hope that she was joking with me. When I saw her face, I knew this was no joke. She was gray, lips were turning blue, and her eyes were rolling back in her head. I started screaming for my 5 year old to bring me the phone. I was ready to call 911 immediately.

I quickly turned her over onto her back so I could start CPR if she needed it, which she looked like she did, only to have her eyes pop open and she started SCREAMING AT ME!

"LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M FINE, GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!"

I was in total shock, but I knew if she was screaming and running away from me she must be okay. That's when the adrenaline that I was running on when I was ready to save her life, left my body. I started shaking from head to toe, tears pouring from my eyes and sobs wrenching my body.

Punk was standing there with the phone still in his hand and just said "Is she okay? Because she really made my heart hurt!"

I went and found T and started asking her, what happened? Are you okay? To which she responded with more yelling to leave her alone.

I called my husband sobbing, barely able to explain to him what was going on. He told me to call my mom, who is a nurse, to see if I should still take her to the ER. Although, every instinct in my body told me she was okay. She HAD to be okay!

My mom told me to check her pupils, she explained that if they were different sizes she had a concussion and I needed to take her in right away. And of course if anything, ANYTHING in my body told me something was seriously wrong, not to hesitate to load the kids up and GO TO THE HOSPITAL!

T finally calmed down enough to let me hold her and check out her eyes. They were fine, as beautiful as ever. She showed me where it hurt. A huge goose egg on her forehead with so many broken blood vessels showing through.

She curled up in my lap for a couple of hours as I cried and prayed, and prayed and prayed.

Thank you Jesus for protecting my sweet baby girl. Thank you Jesus for giving me the strength to be prepared to save her life if it would have come to that. Thank you Jesus for providing me with the support and love to carry me though even if she wouldn't have been okay.

I spent the rest of the day pampering to T. I took her and bought her new shoes like I had been promising for weeks now. I bought her (and Punk) a Happy Meal from McDonald's. And I read her what felt like 100 books, made up songs with her, and tried to keep myself from breaking down every moment that I looked at her.

Last night I had a nightmare about it. Just me kneeling down beside her and pulling her hair back and seeing that face. I woke up screaming and crying. She seems to have forgotten the whole ordeal. I however will never be able to forget it, and am thankful I am the only one who saw her like that. I never would want my husband to have that image in his head.

Yesterday we colored Easter eggs and played outside, today we'll be outside again. Life is back to normal, but I still can't shake the feeling of how different it would be if Jesus would have chosen to take her from us.

Everyday miracles surround us. Some days, Lord, they don't have to be quite so scary!!