I've Been Stereotyped

This weekend, after an awesome day at the ballpark watching Punk take part in his first Opening Day ceremonies of our town's baseball association and his first t-ball game, I was excited to come home and relax. One of our neighbors came over, someone with whom I believed I was becoming good friends with, and we decided to have a cookout together. We combined our food and my husband did the grilling while we waited for her husband to come over and join us.

We had a few drinks and the night was progressing nicely. Lots of stories being shared, lots of laughs, and lots of good food!

Not long after putting our kids to bed, my neighbor's husband went home as well because he had to get up early to go to work, but left us his cell phone number with the warning, "Call me if my wife pisses anyone off, she has been known to do it before, so in case you need me, just call!"

We laughed it off. She's always been so fun and nice!

But. Then. Something. Changed.

She started attacking me, verbally that is. I don't know what happened, but one minute we were talking about kids, and the next, she turns to me and starts going on and on and on about what a spoiled housewife I am. How I take advantage of my husband. How I just live the life of luxury and don't know what it's like to put in an honest day of work.

"I've HEARD you sit there and say, 'Oh I'll just let SB do that', or 'SB can take care of the kids for a little bit, I'm taking a break.' Let me tell you something, (Insert a very explicit name that starts with a 'C'), this man (pointing at my husband) works all day, this man is the only one taking care of this family, and you have the NERVE to sit in your chair in the evenings and let him deal with the kids!? How did you become so spoiled? YOU DO NOTHING and yet you expect YOUR HUSBAND TO HELP YOU?"

Yep, she said all that...and then some.

I am not a confrontational person so I just sat there.

Bless SB's heart, he jumped in and said "No, Jen works really hard, we have a system that works for us and I actually want to help her in the evenings, she needs that break."

Well, that just was like pouring fuel on a fire. She continued to go on and on about how he shouldn't be helping me out. I am the one who "sits home all day and does nothing".

I finally managed to get her to go home. I then walked straight to the bathroom, locked myself in, and cried. SB heard me and made me come out. I informed him that I didn't know if I was over-reacting, because after all she had had too much to drink, but I was NEVER talking to her again. I would be polite if I saw her outside, but she was NEVER to come to our house again.

SB then reminded me, that yes, she had had too much to drink, but that was not the first time she had said that kind of stuff to me. That was just the first time she had been HATEFUL about it.

That got me thinking about the snarky comments she's made in the past few weeks. Like the day she came home from work and I was outside with a baby on one hip, and a bag of trash in the other hand taking it to the outside trashcan. She yelled across the street, "Must be nice to live the life of luxury." I laughed. I thought she was joking because, taking out the trash, while dragging an 18 month old around is definitely NOT my idea of luxury, but in hindsight, she wasn't kidding. She was referring to the fact that I was at home all day.

Then I thought about the exchange she and I had had earlier in the day, before our cookout. She had gone inside my house for something and then let me know that our big screen TV was left on even though we were all outside.

I responded "Oh, I TOLD Punk to turn that off when he came out to ride his bike, the little booger didn't listen!"

She replied, "Its YOUR obligation to take care of this stuff, you're the one who's always here. You shouldn't expect your kids to do things for you."

Hmm. So, I guess my kids should have no responsibility. Just me. Since all I do is sit around.

After crying myself to exhaustion on Saturday night. Waking up on Sunday morning and feeling very very down. Constantly tearing up all day Sunday. I've finally came to realize, that there is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with my life. I am not lazy. I do not overly rely on my husband. He does things for me and the kids after working all day because he wants to. Because he knows that I, too, have worked all day!

There is however something very wrong with my neighbor. She apparently is jealous of me. That's right, I said it. I still have little kids. Her kid is all grown up and has flown the nest. I get to be home with my kids. She worked while her kid was growing up and is still working. I have a husband who is willing to help me. She apparently doesn't.

Does this mean I'm spoiled? Maybe.

But does this mean I am not worthy of respect? No.

Does this mean I am not worthy of being treated kindly? No.

Does this mean that I am a lazy housewife who does nothing but lay around and leaves all of the actual work for my husband to do? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I work hard. I love my family. And screw HER. I'm done. I have NO intentions of ever having her over to my house again.

My perfect, dream neighborhood just got a little stinky..but oh well. At least now I won't ever have to worry about being attacked in my own home like that again!