So I mentioned yesterday that Friday is my birthday. One year closer to 30. Believe it or not, I am actually VERY EXCITED to turn 30. As of Friday I'll have 3 more years to wait. I'm not wanting my life to fly by or anything, but because I started my family at 21, I am not living the typical life of a 20-something. I have responsibilities, and on the infrequent occasions that I do get to go "party", I am always paying for it the next day because a hangover + 3 kids is NOT very much fun.
Plus, with 30, there seems to be more an acceptance from other mothers. Well older mothers, that is. Sure I have friends my age who have kids, but a lot of the mothers I encounter at my children's activities are in their 30's and honestly, they treat me as "less of a mother" because I am still in my 20's. They do. Have any of you other younger mother's experienced this snobbery? It's not fun. Nor is it fair. And THEN when they find out that my husband is 11 1/2 years older than I am..well that always brings a whole new level of interesting looks and comments directed at me.
So, back to "Friday is my birthday." You see, I am big on making sure everyone in my life has a great birthday. Last year I threw a surprise party for my husband, just family, but he had never had one before, and I thought it would be fun to surprise him. I put a TON of effort into it. All the way to hiding homemade pizzas in our basement freezer, and buying the beer and liquor and hiding it as well. This year for my mom's I planned a fantastic menu and proceeded to give her "the best gift she had ever received."
Since I put so much effort into the birthdays for the people I love, is it so much to ask that they do the same for me? I love my husband to death, but being handed a gift still in the bag from the store it came from and a steak dinner (when I'm not even a huge steak fan) is not exactly putting much effort into it for me. But I know my husband, and I know that he really does try. He just doesn't quite "get it". Its my mom that is letting me down this year.
She stopped by last night and in the midst of our conversation she says,
"So, what do you want to do for your birthday?"
"Um..I don't know. Whatever."
"Well, do you want to go out? Do you want me to make something for dinner? What do you want me to get you. Just tell me," she proceeded to say.
"Mom, I don't know. I really don't. To be honest I hadn't even thought much about it. I've had a stressful day today."
"Well, you'll have to let me know so I'll know what to do."
Okay, I know it's nice that she is wanting to do something for me. But why do I have to plan it? I didn't ask her what SHE wanted to do for her birthday. I just said, "You need to come over here at 1pm, we'll have some appetizers, play some games, and then eat an early dinner." I mean it was HER day..she shouldn't have had to be worried about planning anything.
So, I'm just a bit down this year over my birthday. I found it incredibly discouraging that I am in charge of planning my own birthday. Again. I don't get why the people I love can't take notes from the birthday's I give them and give me the same in return. All I really want for my birthday is to be with my family and NOT have to plan anything. But that doesn't seem to be flying with them this year.
"Happy Birthday to me.."
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3 comments:
I think you should tell your mom that exactly "All I really want for my birthday is to be with my family and NOT have to plan anything. But doesn't seem to be flying with them this year" Seriously, spell it out for them!
I know exactly what you mean about being a young mom and having an older husband- right there with you!
Awww, Happy Birthday to you (on Friday)! I'm the keeper/manager/initiator of all holiday celebrations myself. I have just given up on my days (birthday, Mother's Day, anniversary, etc) and have come to love the other ways my family shows they love me...you know, ones that I actually have some possibility of observing.
As far as the young mom thing I TOTALLY know what you mean. At least you're 27-I'm 23! I don't do "Mommy Groups" for the very specific reason that older mothers act like snobs. I've even had 40-something moms with kids younger than mine try to give me parenting tips! I always want to say, "How about I give YOU parenting tips lady...seeing as your kid is 6 months old and my oldest is FIVE?"
Gah! Sorry, end rant. Happy Birthday again-I hope it goes better than you think it's going to=)
Thank you ladies! :) I did end up calling my mom last night and said "I'd like to have grilled chicken and scallop kabobs, and sweet corn for my bday dinner..when we have our dinner and what you get me is entirely up to you!"
She seemed pleased with that, and I am happy to have that "burden" off of my shoulders.
And MrsM..I have a "friend" who is in her 40's and has one child the same age as my oldest. She continually tries to give me advice on what it is like to have more than one child. I have learned to just say "Uh huh..thanks, I'll keep that in mind." LOL!
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