Twinkletoes' got "backed up" again this past weekend, and this time, she just COULD NOT get it out. She would scream, cry and smack me whenever I made her sit on the potty and just TRY to go. She was traumatized, I was traumatized, and SB kept Saying to me, "it's okay baby, I know how you feel".
"Really? You know how I feel? Were you the one in there watching our 3 1/2 year old baby girl in PAIN? No, you weren't, so don't even think you can tell me you know how I feel! "
And yes, I really said that to him. I was very stressed out and sick with worry and I didn't care how my words, and the tone I said them in hurt him.
But yesterday, an old acquaintance of mine, and now new long-distance true-blue "mommy friend" gave me advice via Facebook messages on a plan of action to take. I had Twinkletoes on laxatives, I had given her glycerin suppositories, and had just bought a bottle of mineral oil. All good approaches, but she needed that blockage out NOW before the laxatives would really be of help. So this friend of mine..suggested using an enema, and using is RIGHT AWAY!
Off to Kroger we went. When we got home, I explained it all to T, and she was nervous, but she was willing for me to give it a try. She was tired of being in pain. And it worked! She was thrilled, I was thrilled. And my mom, Grammy, came and picked her up after work and bought her a Barbie for being so brave.
I spent the morning, emailing back and forth with SB about what was going on and that I was going to do this enema. I told him how stressed I have been and how sorry I was that I had been taking a lot of it out on him. I know it wasn't fair to him. He was just trying to be encouraging with his words over the weekend, but I was worried sick and tired of being the one traumatizing our baby, and I felt like a HORRIBLE MOTHER for not being able to know how to help her without casing her so much pain.
I got an email in response and here is a little tidbit:
Babe, you are not a failure. YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!!
I really do hope you have a good day, you deserve it. Once we are caught up again I would like you to take a day and go pamper yourself with a massage and whatever else you want to do to relax. I mean it, I really think you could use some me time for yourself.
He most certainly is right about THAT..and I am going to take him up on it. I haven't had a massage in years. I haven't taken a lot of "me" time..I mean what mother does, really? And so, once we get our finances back into some sort of order, I will be taking a "Jen Day" and will probably even see if a friend would like to tag along. Massage, lunch, shopping..something like that. I need to recharge, and this sounds just about right! And..I even told SB last night that this could be my birthday present from him to me. And what a great birthday present it will be!!
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